In this day and age, a recent phenomenon has emerged, called “cuffing season.” During this “cuffing season,” within the months leading up to winter, you’re on a quest to find a “BAE” (Before Anyone Else). People make hilarious memes about draft picks, when the window closes to choose, etc. Everyone needs someone to cuddle with on those cold days, right? Oddly enough, people take this thing seriously. If you don’t have a significant other during wintertime, you can’t help but feel like the odd one out. But as soon as that warm weather comes around, most couple bonds fizzle out like they never even existed in the first place; which if you ask me, they shouldn’t have.
Why date just to date? I think it’s because Millenials need to be continuously stimulated. By conversation, by music, by Instagram-filter clad photos of food and exotic locations, the list goes on. Also, relationships, when done correctly, can just be fun. Sharing the holidays with someone never loses its novelty, so I don’t blame other people for wanting that. I don’t personally engage in this type of thing just because I find it impersonal. Not to assume a status above anyone, I just never meet people who I find interesting enough to continuously spend time with and consider to be more than just friends. Also, I feel like a lot of people choose to fill up their time by being in a relationship instead of working on themselves, which is not my idea of fun. If I’m constantly growing, I expect you to be too. I usually only find people who grow together are couples who have been together for like 4-5 years.
I just wonder, how do you find the potential in another person to grow together? Does that blossom out of cuffing season? (How do you even enter the draft? I feel like I’m stuck playing college ball forever.) How much of them do you keep and how much of them are you willing to change? If its too much, do you let go? I have way too many questions, and I know that I should experience it in hopes of answering them all, but in complete honesty, I’m scared. Scared of breaking someone’s heart, scared of someone breaking mine, scared of being in a dead-end relationship, scared of having more options but missing them.
Ultimately, I have a lot of respect for those who engage because I choose to sit on the sidelines. I choose to watch more than interact, and try to figure out the game before I play for fear of messing up. I see those people who jump in and out of relationships faster than you could say the words cuffing season, and it mystifies me.
I remember this guy on the outskirts of my friend group really liked me, and I could just tell from the first time meeting him. He was enchanted by me, he couldn’t take his eyes off me. We had a good conversation but I can tell I was the one leading. He never argued with me, something I absolutely detest because if you don’t have your own thoughts, we won’t work. One of my close friends who knew him said I should give the guy a chance but I didn’t want to because I knew his type. He seems like someone who would never go anywhere, because isn’t really making strides to go anywhere now. Plus, he isn’t really my type, but that information is negligible.
When I explained all these reasons why I didn’t want to give this guy a chance, my close friend asked if I dated around. Absolutely not. Dating is an investment, just like my apparel, or my education. If I were to date that guy, that would give a message to other people, specifically other guys, that I enjoy spending time with people who have no ambition. Being an ambitious young woman, I refuse to market myself that way. By all means, it’s very nice that he liked me, for all the reasons that I was what he aimed to be, but I’m not going to date someone because they like me. A lot of people like me, I get approached very often to go out on dates and I continuously refuse because I either don’t know that person, or I don’t want to be intimately attached to an individual that I know relatively well. I’m in no position to teach someone how to be driven, or how to be like me. I get a lot of my spirit from my parents, so I highly doubt you could really teach a person that behavior. I am nobody’s mother, so I’m not going to teach you how you should be living your own life.
I don’t think cuffing season contestants look at relationships like that, so that’s probably why they continue to play the game. Must be nice, ignorance and it’s bliss.
Tell me what you think: am I high strung? Is this rational?
How do you feel about cuffing season, waste of time or time of your life?
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