If you’ve dated, more likely than not, you’ve been dumped, or have dumped someone.
(For all of you love birds who have been together since the first day you laid eyes on each other and have been inseparable since, this article is not for you. However, as a courtesy, please forward this link to your friends who haven’t been in relationships for awhile. Thank you.)
As the saying goes, breaking up is hard to do. Depending on the reason as well as the current standing of your relationship, it only gets more difficult. There are different varieties, such as The (very rare) Amicable Break-Up, where you just universally stop wanting to entertain a relationship one another, or the It’s Not You, It’s Me, which usually means it’s something they don’t like about you anymore. There’s also the volatile Emotion-Fueled Break-Up, starter pack including a deceit, distrust, and/or a solid object of which someone threw at the other’s head as they set all of their belongings on the front lawn. Home-wrecker sold separately.
The by far worst break up, though, is the one you don’t expect, because you aren’t even really dating. Singling-Mingling-You starts out really excited to start seeing someone, but after you hang out once, they start dodging your calls, texts, or you altogether. You feel like crap, not only because you really thought you could be with them, but also that you don’t even know if you were exclusive to each other. Doubt sits on your shoulder, whispering, “what if they were seeing you and four other people and they liked you the least?” (This is what I like to call The Weakest Link effect.)
Dating nowadays can be rough, because you have to swim in multiple pools. That whole “there’s more fish in the sea” analogy? Yeah, there are more fish, but, you gotta catch a couple and weed out the one you want by process of elimination. What if you thought you were ready to commit to this fish, and it turned out to be poisonous? You can’t just go one by one by one when you’re out in the dating pool, because truthfully there’s too many heads to comb through. Also, more likely than not, you’re not sure what you’re looking for, but with budding technologies and a variety of people with different expectations, you end up finding all the things you could care less about.
I swore to thirteen-year-old self that if I ever broke up with someone, I would never get back together with them. Now, no one is perfect, and of course I’ve aimed to get back into the gathered graces of my exes with a little fooling around along the way, but I can proudly say I’ve never said had those “getting-back-together” plans follow through, whether it be the universe or myself to thank.
Now, being past recalling being dumped or doing dumping before, I can admit those experiences have made me a better person. Getting dumped doesn’t always mean the end of the world. As cheesy as it sounds, you get to date yourself by putting your needs before anyone else’s. You get to ask yourself the questions other’s may not have thought to, like what you truly want; what do you want to be, what do you want to do, what do you want to improve? The possibilities are endless. You are free to try new things, be as much of yourself as you can muster, and you don’t have to worry about anyone holding a microscope to your actions they might not like.
The transition to a party-of-one from a tandem-twosome can be less-than-stellar, but for a lot of people I know including myself, the best thing that could have happened to them is being dumped by someone who they realized later was toxic to their well-being. After you get dumped, you realize how truthfully awful that person was. Sometimes you realize, “I was the best part of them, and they chose to let me go.” Other times, you come to the realization that you can now do that thing you always wanted to do but never had the opportunity to when you were in that relationship, like dyeing your hair green or taking up fencing. Being dumped can be rewarding if you just remember to pick yourself up out of your own sadness. For those of us who are in love with our own griping and moaning, a good friend and an activity you enjoy can do a world of good on a damaged heart.
Also, a great way to get over a break up is to take up another activity, such as the timeless solution of exercising. There is no better revenge than being happy, healthy, sexy and successful. As a spite-driven individual, I aim to better myself on all levels just so they can peep my graceful ascension into greatness via social networking and suck it. Regardless of your motivation, remember that you can always improve yourself, and getting dumped might just be the kick you needed.
How do you feel about being dumped? Would you rather be dumped or put the final nail in the coffin yourself? What’s the worst break up you went through, where are you now, and how did you handle it? Let us know in the comments!
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