What’s your best pick-up line?
Mine is always a go-to compliment, people love hearing about how much you like them. Of course, sometimes you stroke the ego too much and it backfires, but that’s more a reflection of them than you.
Getting out there and meeting new people isn’t easy. I don’t think I’ve met a new person who was actually anywhere near the potential relationship radar in months. Sometimes, it doesn’t happen. Not for a long while. But what’s most important is being open to new experiences.
If you do the same things, see the same people, and go to the same places, eventually you’ll hit a wall with interaction. I myself like to lead an adventurous life, an action-packed train with a destination for success. But that doesn’t always leave me time to meet new people or room to be comfortable with the idea of committing to someone and trying to fit them into my life.
Not only is getting out there about getting to know new people, but it’s also about letting a new person know you. I ask myself, “Am I going to scare them off talking about this? Am I sharing too early? Am I not interesting enough for them?” It becomes almost like you’re aiming to fit a mold due to worry. I these situations, I remember that everything that is happening is completely brand new, and therefore has no rules. The idea of having no guidelines is scary, but the easiest-to-do-hardest-to-believe piece of advice is to be yourself and go with your gut. If you aren’t crazy about something, say so. If you want more of something, voice how you feel. People respect honesty and those who see honesty are more likely to reciprocate.
There is a slight, but very real, possibility of someone manipulating your feelings. Again, another reflection of them rather than you. Dating is supposed to be fun, even bad dates teach you something positive. I’ve been on a load of bad dates and even ones that weren’t so bad but just weren’t what I wanted. What I want is still unclear, but what I do know is that I would prefer someone else.
To investigate more on the feral beast that is the modern dating scene, I read Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance. He, along with Eric Klinenberg, had a lot of good points and interesting cross-cultural research on what dating has been like throughout the years. Ultimately, he said what I’m saying now: be yourself and try new things. That right-swipe won’t become anything if you never meet them in person. A relationship of any kind is never built on a lie. If you click, there’s a reason. But the first step is the approach and taking the plunge.
What do you think, is the worst part of dating that step outside your comfort zone? Or are you a social butterfly who loves to interact with new people?
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